On My Own
by Griever5
Summary: pls read and review. see if you can figure out the characters. (it's pretty obvious)


On My Own  
  
A young woman leaned against the ledge of the second floor deck. Her clear blue eyes gazed up at the starry sky. She took a deep breath, inhaling the cool crisp air.  
  
And now I'm all alone again,  
  
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to.  
  
Without a home, without a friend,  
  
Without a face to say hello to.  
  
And now the night is near  
  
Now I can make believe he's here.  
  
She could hear the faint chatter of the students from up here. A gentle breeze blew, caressing her cheeks; ruffling her blonde hair. Sighing, she bowed her head. The silence pressed down around her and she felt a dull emptiness gnawing at her inside. Then she thought of the one person that made her feel whole.  
  
Sometimes I walk alone at night  
  
When everybody else is sleeping  
  
I think of him and then I'm happy  
  
With the company I'm keeping  
  
The city goes to bed  
  
And I can live inside my head.  
  
She remembered sitting by her bedside, thinking of him when the phone had rang. She had picked it up, tired and slightly irritated from being interrupted from her thoughts. She listened to the voice on the phone half heartedly, not paying to attention to what it said. until she heard that he was hurt. She snapped upright and scrambled up, dropping the phone and heading for the infirmary immediately. She had arrived at the infirmary, and was relived to hear that he was okay. She had watched him, unconscious in the bed, an arm flung over his eyes, his lean body stretched across the bed.  
  
On my own  
  
Pretending he's beside me  
  
All alone, I walk with him till morning  
  
Without him  
  
I feel his arms around me  
  
And when I lose my way I close my eyes  
  
And he has found me  
  
There was a dangerous exam to be taken by the new cadets tomorrow. She strolled down the street, thinking of all the dangers that could befall him. She hoped with all her heart that he would be okay. Of course he would be okay, he was the strongest and best of all the students that she taught. But still she worried. She imagined him standing beside her right now, speaking in a quiet and hesitant voice, reassuring her that he would be all right. In the rain the pavement shines like silver  
  
All the lights are misty in the river  
  
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight  
  
And all I see is him and me for ever and forever  
  
After the graduation dance, she called him over the area behind the training center to talk. It was the day after the exam and he had passed magnificently. They stood in silence, overlooking the garden. She let her muscles relax. It was ecstasy to be so near him. She told him that she had lost her instructor's license because the council thought that she lacked leadership qualities. She also told him that he had danced very well. He seemed uncomfortable, and he had turned away. With a curt remark that plainly asked her to leave him alone, he had left leaving the phrase 'go talk to a wall' behind.  
  
And I know it's only in my mind  
  
That I'm talking to myself and not to him  
  
And although I know that he is blind  
  
Still I say, there's a way for us  
  
She watched him walk away, his disappearing back vanish into the shadows. Twisted emotions swelled up within her. She wanted to cry, yet, in a way she was also happy. She was a busy person with important things to tend to and she did not need a relationship to get in her way. His reaction had told her that he had no interest in her whatsoever and would be glad to be left alone. In this way she was relieved. But then another side of her wanted to scream and to cry. Why? What had she done to him that made him treat her so rudely and inhumanly? She had cried that night. Cried and smiled through the tears.  
  
I love him  
  
But when the night is over  
  
He is gone, the river's just a river  
  
Without him the world around me changes  
  
The trees are bare and everywhere  
  
The streets are full of strangers  
  
She watched him. He stood at the corner of the basketball court, talking to a raven-haired girl. He looked so different than when he always did. His face was still as empty and blank but this time there was no irritation in his eyes, no frown on his face. He was nodding slowly, actually listening to what the girl said. He had never really listened to anyone before. She noticed a faint flicker in his eyes, a light in his eyes that were never there before. He was content; she realized. He was finally content.  
  
I love him  
  
But every day I'm learning  
  
All my life I've only been pretending  
  
Without me his world will go on turning  
  
A world that's full of happiness  
  
That I have never known!  
  
She stood in the hallway, watching, always watching from a distance. He was standing at the balcony of the hall and with him stood the raven-haired girl. He turned to her, a smile gracing his lips. She lowered her head. She had never seen him smile before, face alight with so much happiness. She had tried but nothing had worked. And now she had failed. She watched as he embraced the raven-haired girl. He had never hugged anyone before; he hated to be touched. She turned away, feeling defeated and tired. All this time and she had done nothing, achieved nothing. A tear slid down her cheek.  
  
I love him  
  
I love him  
  
I love him  
  
But only on my own. 


End file.
